I've Got Your Expansion and Contraction Right Here

I am almost positive that I have read or heard from at least one source that if one knows his or her own weakness, and if one is able to come to grips with said weakness, there is some type of strength gathered from it.  I'm not sure how true this is, but if it is true in any sense, I should be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.  Seriously, where else would one go to find something to write about besides the thing that occupies so much of our time.  The more I think about it, how much I suck at something seems to hover around me like I'm Pig Pen from Charlie Brown.  There is this inescapable cloud of crap that seems to envelop me.  

Don't get me wrong, I know that most other people don't necessarily see it as crap, especially in today's PC climate.  More than likely for the PC crowd, I'm just "challenged,"but to me, mostly because I know the truth as I will describe shortly, it's just straight crap.  Here's the part where you probably think I'm going to tell you I'm learning disabled, or maybe I'm dyslexic, or  maybe I've been raised by foster parents because my real mom and dad abandon me when I was just a child.  Your not even close, and this is where the real embarrassment begins. Here's my big problem; I want to be good at stuff.  Actually in the honor of full disclosure I need to make it a bit more clear; I want to great at everything I do.  I know, it really doesn't sound that bad, but this is where Pig Pen's sweet little swirling cloud quickly turns into a raging tornado.  I wish I had some grand reason for wanting to be good at everything I do, but the truth is I don't.  I simply want to be the best at what I do no matter what it is. I know that sounds innocent enough, but wanting to be good and wanting to be the best are miles apart, especially when you know the real reason behind your motivation.  See, being the best as opposed to simply being good means that my focus is not on mastering some new concept or skill to better myself and those around me, no; my sole focus is to be standing on the podium while being sprayed with champaign, swigging from some giant jug of milk, surrounded by models, and  all the while holding the biggest bouquet of flowers none to man.  There it is, and there is no way around it; I am prideful, and yes, prideful people are constantly worried about what they cannot do, and that takes me right back to square one, the swirling cloud of crap.  The only difference between me and Pig Pen is that I have mastered hiding the cloud.